Stevieslaw: Sean Spicer to be more “upfront.”

Sean Spicer announced today that he would be making apologies for his inappropriate statements before he makes them. “I’ve often waited too long to apologize for my verbal blunders,” he told our reporter, Smokey Diamond. “Instead, I’ve tried and tried to explain them away with Spicerian logic, but that has repeatedly failed.”
“All of that is going to change,” he continued. “From now on, I will apologize for statements I will make at the beginning of my news briefings.”
“For example,” said Spicer, “I apologize in advance for saying tomorrow that Jews are overly sensitive to the holocaust and should get over it already. “And on Friday, I will be really, really sorry to have said that black lives mattered more when cotton was king.”
“You’re going to love the new proactive Spicey,” he said with a winning grin.