Stevieslaw Exclusive: Tiger Woods to replace Steve Bannon
Stevieslaw has learned that Trump will replace his chief strategist, Steve Bannon, with golfing legend Tiger Woods.
Said Trump Spokesperson, Shorty Irons, “The President has evaluated his singular lack of progress on any of his legislative priorities and decided to move in a different direction. Mr. Trump is a quick study and he feels that most problems facing the nation are too damn complicated and finding solutions practically impossible. In addition, while Mr. Trump certainly realized that he would be facing opposition from the democrats, he had never before heard of the Freedom Caucus, and he feels quite strongly that those people are certifiably crazy and should be locked away for the good of the nation.”
Mr. Irons said that Trump would drop a really big bomb or deport a poor unfortunate or two when people started demanding action. “That’s usually enough,” continued Shorty.
“Tiger Woods has seen the President’s game and knows just what to expect,” said Irons. “He is confident that he can reduce Mr. Trump’s handicap from a little over eleven to a three or a four. That means that the President will be routinely playing rounds in the 70’s.”
‘That’s huge,” concluded Mr. Irons.