Stevieslaw: Cabinet Updates

Every now and then, Stevieslaw will do brief human interest pieces on the members of Trump’s Cabinet. We hope by doing so, we can help humanize the people we so admire.

Betsy Devos and Rick Perry have been engaged in a red-hot game of Words With Friends, which is an online variant of Scrabble. Betsy leads the series three games to one. She has the highest overall score of 43, having made the incredible word “youse,” for a score of 8 points. If things go as planned, game 5 will be broadcast live.

Rex Tillerson, our Secretary of State, has lost 11 pounds since taking office. Mr. Tillerson, who told our own Smokey Diamond that “he could afford to lose the weight,” has been having trouble with diplomatic lunches and dinners. “I turn my head and my food is gone,” he confided to Smokey. “Then, I spend the rest of the mealtime literally watching some foreign diplomat eat my lunch.”

Be sure to watch for our periodic updates—next time—Jeff Sessions shows us his fine collection of antebellum whips and chains. And, we interview Scott Pruitt who will talk about the selfie he took with Beelzebub and a dozen dying polar bears on the last bit of ice in Greenland.

We will also do a series on Presidential advisors. In the wings, Jared Kushner describes the one thing that has made him the man he is today—chronic constipation!