Stevieslaw: The Brain Trust

Police halted construction on both sides of the Brooklyn Bridge early this morning. The construction firm, New-Volga, Inc., said that the owner of the bridge requested them to put toll booths up before the start of the morning traffic rush.

Soon after the construction halt, a red-faced Jared Kushner arrived waving a purported deed to the bridge, written in Cyrillic on a cocktail napkin.

Kushner claimed that he bought the bridge for an amazing price from two Russian “real-estate” tycoons at a hotel bar. The meeting was unplanned.

“I couldn’t believe my luck,” said Mr. Kushner, “so I sent a quick e-mail to Donald Junior to ask what he thought.”

Donny replied, “I love it—I’m in for half,” so I brought the bridge.

“You guys cost me a day’s toll,” complained Kushner.

Smokey Diamond, our resident philosopher, summed it up with, “The Russians are playing chess, while we are playing beer-pong.