Stevieslaw: Trump Disowns

Donald Trump tore into his heir-presumptive, Donald Trump Jr. today, tweeting that he was only a minor member of the family. “In fact,” tweeted Trump, “Donald Junior bears so little family resemblance that I have been convinced for years that he is not my son.”

Trump went on to claim that he has no idea who Jared Kushner is and certainly would never had agreed to let his daughter, Ivasomethingorother, marry a Jew. “What kind of hypercritical anti-Semite would that make me,” he posted.

Trump argued that he saw Crooked Hilary’s hand behind the whole thing. “She and her femme-fiends will never stop tormenting me, because I beat them fair and square” he tweeted. “Biggest margin ever,” he noted

Moreover, Trump questioned the timing of the newest revelations by Steve (Wormtongue) Bannon. “All of sudden this derelict looking guy—does he look like a bum or what?—that I barely know is inventing family for me,” he tweeted. “Family?” “These people have been buzzing around my life for years—they only come by to whine and beg for money—never even sent me a birthday card,” he continued.

I’m through with these illegitimate sons and daughters,” he said in a final tweet. “How could they ever know anything about me or my incredibly successful—best ever—campaign.” “I’ve disowned them,” he tweeted, “believe me.”