It can’t happen here update

The Trump administration is coming under increasing pressure from Fox News and Mayors and Governors across the nation because of the long lines at Euthanasia Centers.

“Seniors should not be forced to wait in hours long lines to die,” said Republican Senator Marco Rubio of Florida. Brit Hume of Fox News was forced to agree. “We don’t want to criticize the President in this time of crisis, but these long waits are a National embarrassment.”

Not only is there a critical of shortage of crematoria and incinerators, the three drug cocktail used for the execution is also in short supply. That, coupled with the shortage of urns for ashes and a terrible lack of the commemorative t-shirts that the elders are supposed to receive a week before their execution, has caused widespread consternation—particularly among the Trump base. As you probably recall, the commemorative t-shirts read, “I’m willing to die to save the street.”

In response, the President said that the critical shortage of facilities was being met by a growing number of industrial giants. “It’s a really good response, he said. The best response in the entire world.

Trump said that the shortage of crematoriums was a result of Obama’s horrible regulations. “We inherited pollution requirements and all sorts of garbage regulations,” he said.

Vice-President Pence, head of the Federal Death Panel, said “some of these problems are easily overcome. We can use a sledge hammer instead of the drug cocktail for the executions—it’s quicker anyway.”

“And why can’t those t-shirts be made at home?” he added. “That’s one reason we should require that women take Home Economics in our schools.”