Stevieslaw: Setting the Record Straight

No one at Stevieslaw called President Bonkers to congratulate him on being the best President ever.  If Donald J. Bananas says that we did, as he eventually will, he is lying.


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Stevieslaw: Discipline

Stevieslaw: Discipline

An obviously puffed Sarah Huckabee told reporters at the White House today that Chief of Staff, John Kelly, gathered the entire White House Staff on the lawn at 3 AM this morning, had them don combat fatigues, and marched them to Bethesda, MD—a 6.7 mile trek. Each staff member was forced to carry a 40 pound backpack filled with assorted bullshit. Buses returned the staff to the White House, where they were subjected to an hour of rigorous calisthenics.

All members of the staff, with the exception of Steve (wormtongue) Bannon participated in the drill. Mr. Bannon could not be coaxed out from under the rock where he normally sleeps. Said Huckabee, quoting General Kelly, “I hope Private Bannon likes to peel potatoes, as he will be on KP for the foreseeable future.”

Ms. Huckabee confirmed that Kelly had threatened to pepper Mike Pence’s backside with buckshot, “if that smug son of a bitch comes anywhere near the White House.” Kelly also denied Corporal Trump’s request of a weekend pass to play golf at his resort in New Jersey.

“I have plans to work that butterball back into shape,” said Kelly.


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Stevieslaw: Visiting Day


My poem, Visiting Day, just appeared in the July/August Issue of Eclectica Magazine.  The link is above, the poem is:


Visiting Day

I catch your smile
through the commotion
of that common room
and I can see
my whole childhood in it.

Once, when our world was
just a stickball game
between the manhole
covers on Bristol Street,
you told me
there would be
time enough
for all things—
a tenderness to the phrase
so unlike you
and the life you’ve led
that I have carried it
as a counterweight, of sorts,
to all your worldly transgressions.

Today, it’s just the two of us—
as gangly and awkward
as the children we once were,
in a room filled
with the sound and smell
of misery, on a scale
I might never have imagined.
I have that, too,
to thank you for.
You shake your head
and laugh out loud
as if in explanation,
as the light fades
through the grim
barred windows,
on this, the last day
of an August
that has been
as hot as hell.

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Stevieslaw: The Brain Trust

Stevieslaw: The Brain Trust

Police halted construction on both sides of the Brooklyn Bridge early this morning. The construction firm, New-Volga, Inc., said that the owner of the bridge requested them to put toll booths up before the start of the morning traffic rush.

Soon after the construction halt, a red-faced Jared Kushner arrived waving a purported deed to the bridge, written in Cyrillic on a cocktail napkin.

Kushner claimed that he bought the bridge for an amazing price from two Russian “real-estate” tycoons at a hotel bar. The meeting was unplanned.

“I couldn’t believe my luck,” said Mr. Kushner, “so I sent a quick e-mail to Donald Junior to ask what he thought.”

Donny replied, “I love it—I’m in for half,” so I brought the bridge.

“You guys cost me a day’s toll,” complained Kushner.

Smokey Diamond, our resident philosopher, summed it up with, “The Russians are playing chess, while we are playing beer-pong.



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Stevieslaw: Yearning just appeared in Ekphrastic Review

My poem Yearning has just appeared in the Ekphrastic Review.  The poem is based on my wife Karen’s wonderful photo/abstract– she photographs flowers against a background of  one of her abstract paintings.

The link is above.





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Stevieslaw: Me volveria atras si fuera tu

Stevieslaw: Me volveria atras si fuera tu

David Lauter reported today in the Los Angeles Times that Donald Trump told reporters flying with him on Air Force One that “there’s no need for full border wall.”

Later today, The White House will formally report on the new plan for border security with Mexico. Stevieslaw has gotten advanced notification.

The new plan will involve up to 100 signs written in Spanish and in English. In Spanish, facing Mexico, they will say “me volveria atras si fuera tu,” and in English, “I’d turn back if I will you.”
The last phrase, you might recall, was popularized in “The Wizard of Oz.”

The White House will also announce that Enrique Pena Nieto, President of Mexico, has agreed to pay for the signs—a huge victory for Mr. Trump, and one that is sure to please his supporters. Mr. Nieto said, “I will write a personal check for the signs. I only hope to god it will get that moron off my back.”

Fair and Balanced News (Fox) reports, “the erection of the signs will employ up to three hardworkingamericanworkers for nearly two weeks, another victory for Trump!”


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Stevieslaw: Rust Belt

My poem, Rust Belt, is one of five finalists for the goodreads monthly poetry prize.  If you are a goodreads member, log on and vote for the best poem (mine I hope).

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