Myron Pipes In
Myron, my fire-eating red-headed cousin, does not often find his name and the word compromise in the same sentence. He is particularly hard on the filthy rich, waiters and idiots. It is not all that unusual for Myron to throw one of each through a plate glass window in any given month.
When he called me to suggest a compromise on the Keystone XL pipeline project, I was stunned.
“I had a great idea for the project,” Myron told me. “But I don’t know how to publicize it.”
“I’ll put it on my blog, cousin,” I said. “That way ten or twelve people this year will read about it.”
“It’s a start,” said my cousin. “A very, very small start.”
Myron’s compromise is simplicity itself.
1. Build the pipeline. It will create tons of good paying jobs in the middle of a jobs recession.
2. Have the oil companies pay for the pipeline construction using their very large pool of government subsidies. They won’t miss it.
3. Don’t connect the pipeline to anything in Hardisty or in Houston/Port Arthur. Keep it empty and shiny.
New jobs. No new taxes. No environmental mess. It’s a win, win, win.
As an aside, Myron is heartbroken about his Yankees. He is shocked to learn there will be no Congressional Investigation into the loss.
“What do those idiots do?” he wondered aloud.
My advice to congressmen and women is to avoid having lunch in any restaurant with both plate glass windows and Myron until the first pitch next April.