Stevieslaw: Surveying the Landscape

Cousin Myron, the fiery red-headed math whizz, was fuming.
“It’s blackmail,” he sputtered. “You don’t want to get your doctor, lawyer or baby-sitter in trouble, so you fill out their stupid survey.” “And that, of course, proves to everyone that the surveys are essential—after all people are filling them in—and the number of surveys grows exponentially.” “Mark my words,” he said graphically, “Americans will soon be spending more time filling in surveys than they do sleeping.”
While it might have been better for his bank account—bail was extraordinarily high—if Myron had not found a way to have all of the major survey companies’ computers frantically filling in their own surveys, we have to admit that Myron has a point. Just last night, I found myself filling in a survey for my dentist, two for my doctor (one, to assess why I had not filled out an earlier survey), and one on the quality of my mom’s funeral home. “I’m falling behind,” I thought with a yawn. It seems like every day I can count on two or three surveys on my phone or laptop.
Along those lines and strictly for our information at Stevieslaw:
1. How many surveys are you offered a week?
(a) 2___
2. On a scale of 1 to 112, with 1 being never and 112 being always, how often do you fill them in? ____
3. Using the scale of question 2, with 1 being “in seconds” and 112 being “more than a day,” how much time does it take you to fill the average survey in? ____
4. Using a new scale, with 1 being frivolously and 77* being until my head hurts, how seriously do you take the survey’s questions?____
5. On a simple scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being always and 5 being never, how often do you confuse the 1 and the 5, mess up the entire survey and refuse to go back to it? ____
6. If your answer to question 5 is in the range of 1-5, please go back to question 1.

Thank you. To compare your answers to the better answers offered by others, go to and enter the code M45698IeLLL-000erg/eh?. Remember that this code is CASE SENSITIVE and is probably typed imperfectly here.

Have a productive night.

*try to avoid prime number answers, as they are more likely to screw up the statistics.

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2 Responses to Stevieslaw: Surveying the Landscape

  1. Teri Kennedy says:

    I wish there was a way. We have a Gov in Fla who’s got to go too! Neither must stay he can’t always get his own way, send them to Paraguay! It rymes?


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