Stevieslaw: Paranoia Relief Act of 2015
In contrast to the States instituting Freedom of Religion Acts, we are told by informed sources that Vermont is poised to pass a Paranoia Relief Act.
The law will provide free counseling and psychotherapy for those so frozen in fear that they actually believe that the government is coming for their guns, that there is a war on Christianity and Christmas, and that President Obama–who was born in Kenya—was elected through a vast Muslim conspiracy. A recent amendment will also offer help to those addicted to Fox News or to broadcasts or books by Rush Limbaugh or Glenn Beck. Those buying books authored by Ayn Rand in Vermont’s Barnes and Noble bookstores will be treated to a free hot chocolate, a banana-nut muffin decorated with a smiley face, a hug and a there-there.
Said Tom Lehrery, author of the bill, “In trying to help these people—our fellow citizens—we will start small.” “Perhaps we can convince them that there is something in their lives—in everyone’s lives—worth a giggle now and again.” “Perhaps we can get them to lighten up and smile for just a little while each day,” he said with a winning smile.