Stevieslaw: Some things I’d do rather than watch the Trump Inaugural

1. Supervise a dodge ball game for 13 year old boys on sugar highs
2. Volunteer at the Holland Tunnel for 5 PM Friday on a Holiday weekend.
3. Break into a junk-yard to get to know the dogs.
4. Eat lunch and dinner at Taco Bell every day for four years.
5. Be in the middle seat on a 16 hour non-stop Aeroflot flight to Timbuktu when the last bathroom backs up.
6. Have all my molars out at the local dental school on the first day of the new semester.
7. Ask for directions in Beirut while wearing my “Israel Rocks” t-shirt.
8. Be unable to leave a weekend Mantovani Marathon outdoors in Death Valley.
9. Listen to Oliver North tell war stories on Fox News
10. Go hunting with Dick Cheney

Actually, I won’t be watching for personal reasons. I go to pieces at funerals—and we will be burying the country I thought I knew on January 20th.