Stevieslaw: Feds clear Trump’s son

Fox News trumpeted the headline this morning that Trump’s son was not under investigation. Although, Sean Hannity promised that details would follow, Fox has not followed up on the report.

Said former Speaker, Newt Gingrich, “This is wonderful news, though not unexpected. We’ve long known that this investigation was just a witch hunt.” Vice-President Mike Pence agreed. He was just about to attend his fourth prayer meeting of the day, when the news broke at 7 A.M. Said Pence, “I’ve prayed that this would all come to a quick end, and this looks like the beginning of the end to me.”

Speaker, Paul Ryan echoed that sentiment. “This is the kind of good news we’ve been waiting for.

There are unconfirmed reports that Jared Kushner might have cracked a smile.

Undarr Rocks, spokesperson for the Special Prosecutor said, “There is no evidence that 10 year old, Barron Trump was involved in any way. We were naturally curious about his play dates with children of Russian Embassy officials, but these were all quite innocent.”

“He has never been under investigation,” said Mr. Rocks. “As a parent, however, I find it nice that he has friends.”