Stevieslaw: So Close

After taking us out of the Paris accords, gutting environmental regulations on the eve of hurricanes, and most recently praising Nazis, Klansmen and White Nationalists as fine people and pardoning the Sheriff of Nottingham, while ending the dreamers program because we are a nation of laws, President Trump has announced a series of campaign-like rallies at several rust belt cities.

Stevieslaw has learned the President will announce that “America is very nearly great again.” His fervent supporters, whose lives have improved “bigly,” will erupt with wild cheers and look carefully for people to beat up. Hats and t-shirts reflecting our new near-greatness will be available at a price that mirrors our progress.