Stevieslaw: Trump to Switch

Just after a White House meeting with Mitch McConnell, Paul Ryan, Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi, President Trump announced he had changed his party affiliation to Democrat. Trump, in justifying his decision, referred to McConnell and Ryan and “dumb and dumber” and remarked that McConnell, in particular, had “no fashion sense.” “He’s a stuffed shirt and it’s a cheap shirt,” remarked the President of the United States.

Trump spokesperson, Ivanka Trump, said “My dad feels that the Republicans in Congress are not capable of getting anything done—look at the mess they made of the simple “repeal and replace Obamacare” process. He was once a Democrat and now he is again. It’s not a big deal.”

Most Democrats seem willing to give Trump the benefit of the doubt. Tom Perez, head of the Democratic National Committee, said “This solves a lot of problems for the party. And, I’m sure, in time, we will learn how to control and curb his worst instincts.” Nancy Pelosi said, “Trump has a good heart and sacrificed a great deal to be President. I’m sure we can learn to work with him,” while Hilary Clinton noted that Trump has been a good father and that his not-yet-indicted-children have turned out wonderfully well. Only the contrarian, Bernie Sanders, broke with his former allies to say, “Are you people nuts, he’s the same asshole he was yesterday.”

Republican response has been muted. Mike Pence immediately switched his party affiliation, smiled broadly and gave an enthusiastic thumbs up. By contract, Mike Pence is officially only allowed to say one thing and he capably moved it over to his New Democratic persona saying, “What Donald Trump has done is exactly right.”