Stevieslaw: Who is Next?

I’ll bet you are not convinced, even with Bolton as National Security Advisor and Mike Pompeo at State, that we’ve hit rock bottom on Trump picks. None of us are. In fact, the question on everyone’s mind is: How can Trump find even worse choices when he decides, as he will, to fire the latest bunch? We suggest that Trump go back to the old neighborhood—in his case, Queens.

If we go back to our old stomping ground—Brownsville, Brooklyn, we could easily replace the war-mongers and airheads currently serving in cabinet and high staff positions, with even war-ier and air-head-ier folks. Consider your childhood gang—you probably can compile a list as well.

For Treasury Secretary—Bennie the Book, who kept the craps games going in Brooklyn and Saigon. How refreshing to have a Treasury Secretary who served time for something other than a banking-stock swindle.

For Secretary of State—Mike the mouth, who was voted three years running the most likely to be carried off the playground in a stretcher. Mike, the chicken hearted, had the knack of teasing the craziest dude on the playground into flattening him. Rumor has it, that on a class trip to Tibet, The Dalai Lama grew so frustrated with his chatter he broke a statue of Buddha over his head.

For Housing and Urban Development—Teddy the torch, who at last count burned down 43 tenements in Brownsville. At 16! Ted loved his work in “insurance” and had fine connections among New York’s real estate developers.

Health and Human Services—Nurse Sheila, who could get it for you, and at a good price. She will bring the cost of medicine down in the nation, although you might have to get your prescription filled at a quiet street corner in the dead of night, rather than at a pharmacy.

Education—My cousin Barbara, who at 37 is still trying to pass 8th grade. She, like Devos, has strong fact-based opinions on everything educational. An early Trump supporter, she values him for his integrity.

And for Defense—Short fuse Phil, a seemingly mild-mannered stickball star, who would explode every now and then to do very, very evil stuff. Totally unpredictable, Phil would blow up for no apparent reason. Sure to be a hit on the International Scene.

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