Stevieslaw: Funny you should ask department

Posted on August 23, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Funny you should ask department.

Today’s local, The CDT, picked up a piece from Ed Rogers, writing for the Washington Post. The headline was: Trump did a lot of good Monday. How long will it last?

Funny you should ask.

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Stevieslaw: Swallows

Posted on August 23, 2017 by stevieslaw

My short ekphrastic poem, Swallows, is up on The Drabble today.  It was inspired by a painting by Benjamin Chee Chee.  Here is the link:http://Thedrabble.wordpress.com

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Stevieslaw: Check out this poem by Lisa McMonagle on Ekphrastic Review

Posted on August 22, 2017 by stevieslaw

http://www.ekphrastic.net/the-ekphrastic-review/jackie-by-lisa-mcmonagle

 

Check out this poem by my friend and poetry group member, Lisa McMonagle on Ekphrastic

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Stevieslaw: Goodreads

Posted on August 19, 2017 by stevieslaw

My poem Flotilla was this month’s winner of the Goodreads poetry contest.  Thanks for your support.

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Stevieslaw Exclusive: Tiger Woods to replace Steve Bannon

Posted on August 18, 2017 by stevieslaw

Watch for it.

stevieslaw's avatarStevie's Law

Stevieslaw Exclusive: Tiger Woods to replace Steve Bannon
Stevieslaw has learned that Trump will replace his chief strategist, Steve Bannon, with golfing legend Tiger Woods.
Said Trump Spokesperson, Shorty Irons, “The President has evaluated his singular lack of progress on any of his legislative priorities and decided to move in a different direction. Mr. Trump is a quick study and he feels that most problems facing the nation are too damn complicated and finding solutions practically impossible. In addition, while Mr. Trump certainly realized that he would be facing opposition from the democrats, he had never before heard of the Freedom Caucus, and he feels quite strongly that those people are certifiably crazy and should be locked away for the good of the nation.”
Mr. Irons said that Trump would drop a really big bomb or deport a poor unfortunate or two when people started demanding action. “That’s usually enough,”…

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Stevieslaw: Poetry Composition 101

Posted on August 17, 2017 by stevieslaw

 

My complete “how to” for writing poetry.

 

Poetry Composition 101

 

Start with a first line

as glorious as

something out of

Dickens. In fact,

perhaps it is. Who

would be the wiser?

Has anyone

the leisure to leaf

through “Hard Times,”

anymore?

 

The body of the poem should be arcane,

whatever that might mean.

I find that lots of foreign phrases,

some Canto this and Canto that

to tell them Ezra Pound is near,

and lots of similes and metaphors—

the clouds, the sun, the sea

are nice and have such

fine collective meaning.

Use rhyme a time

or two,

so scholars swear

your verses sing.

Sonnets, Quaterns

Rondels and the like

are best left to those

both highly skilled

and long-departed.

 

You’ll need a twist

by stanza three,

to keep your reader’s

head above the paper.

Perhaps a bit of plot,

or better yet

some sexual innuendo

or peccadillo, for that matter,

will get Joe Blow to plow

through your awful mess

even if you’ve

penned it in pig Latin.

 

Near the end,

think family.

A little dementia

is fine– I find the

early onset best.

Through your thesaurus

find fresh phrases for

twisted, tortuous

and the like,

even if your mom and dad,

like mine, could never do

enough for you—and seem

to be still helping from the grave.

Remember, “near tears but no tears,”

as poems that make you sob

are merely doggerel

and end up in

the Sunday supplement

surrounded by

limericks and

drawings of a daisy,

by Chris—age six.

 

The ending must tie

the first line to the body

through the title.

Or the body through

the title to the ending.

Got it?

How could you?

Be cleverish here,

so that your reader,

in overcoming

his bewilderment,

can feel quite clever too.

Remember to leave

the learned room

to grasp for meaning—

hint: put common “words”

in quotes to feed

the meaning’s frenzy.

 

Think happy thoughts

and write glumly.

And now,

let us begin.

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Flotilla

Posted on August 16, 2017 by stevieslaw

and here is the poem, thanks to my friend Sarah Russell

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Stevieslaw: Nazis

Posted on August 15, 2017 by stevieslaw

Nazis

I like to watch the old newsreels—the ones that used to crack and pop across the screen. The monotoned moderator telling you where and why. I liked the Nazi rallies best. The people shoulder to shoulder on the Reich Party Congress Grounds just southwest of Nuremberg, their faces beaming with adoration—right arms outstretched as if trying to touch their leader—Hitler, as he barked his hatred on the world stage.

I like to watch the Nazi soldiers—elite S.S. I think, as they goose step their way past a reviewing stand—with Hitler and his generals and minions—right arms outstretched as if they could almost grab the globe they hoped to conquer.

I love most to imagine these same soldiers—these same people, freezing on the Russian Steppe. Their threadbare garments no match for the Russian winter. They have nothing to eat except perhaps a leather belt or shoe or some fallen comrade. They are out of ammunition—unless they choose to throw rocks at the Russian tanks. In fact, it has gotten so bad for each and every one of them, that they can’t help but wish for morning—when the merciless Russians, right up there on the rise, will come and kill them quickly.

I like to think the Russians know this and are in no hurry.

 

 

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Stevieslaw: Donald Channels Ozzie

Posted on August 11, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Donald Channels Ozzie

Donald Trump got the Press Corp out of bed today at 5:30 AM, ushered them into the Press Room, and without ceremony bit the head off of a live bat.

Trump said, “I am mailing this to Kim Jong-un as my final warning.”

Defense Secretary James Mattis later explained, “It is very, very important that the world realize there is more than one insane fucker out there with nuclear weapons. Sleep tight everyone, we are handling it.”

It was in 1982, at a concert in Des Maine, Iowa, that Ozzy Osborne bit the head off a live bat—although he later claimed he thought it was a rubber bat.

Rex Tillerson, continuing his role as Secretary of Calming Things Down, said soon after: We need to consider the whole picture—to put things in perspective. It was, in fact, only a very small bat.”

 

 

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Stevieslaw: Matryoshka

Posted on August 10, 2017 by stevieslaw

Stevieslaw: Matryoshka

The regional office of the FBI was screaming for Russian translators today, in ads placed in all the major news outlets and campus papers.

Stevieslaw has learned that the ads are an outgrowth of the raid on Paul Manafort’s house in Alexandria, Virginia on July 26th. Paul Manafort, as I’m sure you recall, was the head of the Trump campaign leading up to the convention and has been mentioned as a person of interest in the collusion investigation. He was fired when it was learned he had lived in the Kremlin for the past fifteen years and was Vladimir Putin’s first cousin on his mother’s side.

Speaking anonymously, an FBI agent—who suggested we call him JEdgar, told us:

“We expected to find reams and reams of memos and financial documents relative to our investigation of the Trump campaign’s possible collusion with the Russian.” “Instead, Russian agents came tumbling out of the house, as soon as we opened the door.”

“They were everywhere,” he continued. “In the attic, in the basement, and nesting under all of the beds like Matryoshka—you know, like Russian nesting dolls.”

“It was eerie,” he said. “Men, women, and children pouring out in torrents and all wearing baseball caps saying “Make America Great Again,” and white t-shirts with “NO COLLUSION” in bold, in red and blue lettering.”

“I think we got them,” concluded JEdgar with a smile.

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