With school boards, elected local officials, mayors and governors across the nation getting set to fire your neighbors, relatives and friends, the hardheaded among us are asking once more why the very rich are paying at the lowest tax rate in decades, corporate giants—like GE—are paying no taxes, whole industries—like fracking for natural gas in Pennsylvania—are not being taxed at all, and why Republican Paul Ryan proposes privatizing Medicare while lowering the corporate tax rate? The answer was given to us years ago by the Great Communicator, Ron Reagan, as trickle-down economics, but perhaps we have forgotten the basics.
To reeducate us, Smokey Diamond—our intrepid investigative reporter—caught up with Justin Lacking, spokesperson for the Republican think tank, Stickittoya. Lacking said, “I’m happy to have this opportunity to explain.” “Think of Corporations and the very wealthy as benevolent—mortgage bankers or options dealers, come to mind—job creating machines,” he said. “If taxed they will create only a certain amount of jobs, say A.” ”If untaxed, they will create B number of jobs.” “Sometimes B is actually more than A, and sometimes the extra jobs are not created in Indonesia or Viet Nam, or as we say,” he waxed poetically, “A trickle-miracle occurs. “In hard times in particular,” said Justin, “we must not tax the rich or the Corporate because that might inhibit the trickle miracle.” Smokey asked next if the “trickle-miracle” had ever happened. “No,” beamed an otherworldly looking Justin Lacking, “but you must always believe it might.”
When asked by Smokey about the actual jobs being lost by actual people, Lacking triumphantly said, “Sorry, I have another appointment.”
Here at Stevieslaw, we will try to make it simpler yet. Vote Republican and hope against hope for the trickle-miracle. Perhaps it will happen before your unemployment insurance runs out.