StevieslawConspTheory101: I Believe, I Do I Believe It’s True…

Psst.  Psst. You. Yes, you.  Now that the President has shown he was born in the USA, I bet you are looking for another conspiracy theory to latch onto.  I have one right here in the inside pocket of my raincoat.  Closer.  Yes, you.  Don’t you want to be the first person that I tell about it. It’s a doozy.

Americans are dumb and they are likely to get dumber. Yesterday, on the John Stewart Daily Show Forum, someone wrote in about the solution of an equation that was apparently floating around on Facebook.  The equation was: 6-2(1+2)=?  As of late last night, the correspondent wrote, roughly half of the 300000 people who tried to solve it got it wrong.  The nice thing about the story—which is true of any good story—is it doesn’t matter if it is “factually accurate” or not. The point is, it’s believable.

So, if that little example shows that many Americans have not been getting a quality education, imagine what our future will look like with the significant cuts Republican Governors have been proposing for all levels of public education?  Private school vouchers for the few, at the expense of public education? Terrific idea.  And so, so much kinder than distributing blankets infested with smallpox to the natives of poor neighborhoods across our farms and cities.

So, if you would like a little conspiracy theory, you might ask yourself who benefits from a poorly educated population.  Gee, that’s a tough one.  Anyone have a calculator?

The title of this piece is from the great Tom Paxton song, I Believe, I Do:

I Believe, I do, I believe its true.
I believe exactly what they tell me to.
I believe, I do. I believe its true.
I’m a simple guy, I believe.

Oh the building inspector came around,
And he poked his head inside my door
Just as the plaster missed his head
Then he smiled and said,
“Well the building looks quite safe to me.”

And I believe, I do, I believe its true.
I believe exactly what they tell me to.
I believe, I do. I believe its true.
I’m a simple guy, I believe.

The politician told me just the other day,
That he really didn’t want the job at all,
But he would make this sacrifice for me,
If I would only place my trust in him.

And I believe, I do. I believe its true.
I believe exactly what they tell me to.
I believe, I do. I believe its true.
I’m a simple guy, I believe.

And the labor leader told his membership,
That his limousine was no extravagance at all.
His cocktail parties at Miami Beach,
Merely helped him roll the Union on.

And I believe, I do. I believe its true.
I believe exactly what they tell me to.
I believe, I do. I believe its true.
I’m a simple guy, I believe.

The Commissioner of Public Safety called,
On the people to support their local cops,
Who never ever use any extra force,
When a kindly word would do as well.

And I Believe, I do. I believe its true.
I believe exactly what they tell me to.
I believe, I do. I believe its true.
I’m a simple guy, I believe.

 And there seem to be even more believers than ever these days.
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This entry was posted in Humor, parody, sleepless in state college and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to StevieslawConspTheory101: I Believe, I Do I Believe It’s True…

  1. shamtest says:

    I can’t seem to fully load this post from my iphone!!!!

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