Stevieslaw: Headlines-Millionaires to stay warm this winter

Smokey Diamond, our intrepid reporter, woke this Thanksgiving morning to find the lead article in the Centre Daily Times headlined “Heating Aid Funds Cut.” The article went on to describe how a 50% cut in the federal Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program would affect the ability of the poor—or as the tea partiers call them— the morally defective, to heat their homes.
Smokey talked to Ima Fine, the spokesperson for the Republican Congressional Caucus, a bit later. She told him, “The problem is in the headline.” “Happy news should be emphasized, so that perhaps the headline should have read “Millionaires to Stay Warm this Winter.” “Now, doesn’t that make you feel better.” “Moreover, “we in the Republican Caucus firmly believe that global warming will mitigate any heating crisis this year,” she said with a warm smile. “It’s the reason we have been so opposed to any sort of pollution standards.”
Happy Thanksgiving. Stay Warm.

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