Shredding the Corporate Safety Net

Stevieslaw: Shredding the Corporate Safety Net
Spokesperson Sham Onus, speaking for “Corporations are People. Inc.” said yesterday that: “The reduction in food stamp benefits is outrageous and must stop. “What kind of country has this become, he added emotionally, when the working poor arrive at their stations so enfeebled from hunger that they cannot perform their functions adequately?” “Think what that might mean to your Walmart shopping experience!”
Sham went on to remind the government that the bedrock of compassionate conservatism, which has led to the incredible prosperity of a few of us, is the Corporate Safety Net.
“We do our part by providing a large number of workers a part-time employment at or below the minimum wage. This allows workers the freedom to sample two, three or even four different career possibilities simultaneously. It is the government’s traditional role—not ours— to provide some benefits, such as food stamps, for these workers so that they do not starve on the job.” Must we remind the government that these benefits are paid for by all taxpaying americans. That includes, of course, corporpeople who would be more than willing to contribute their fair share if only they were not owned by a fictitious presence through a post-office box in the Cayman Islands.”

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