Stevieslaw: Limbo Lower Now

Stevieslaw: Limbo Lower Now
Paul Kane, writing for the Washington Post, mistitles his piece “Critical Month awaits Congress”, which is appropriate only if the word critical actually means “of no importance.” In the article, Paul points out that this Congress has passed only 60 pieces of public law in their six month session—fewer than the 88 passed by the Newt Gingrich bunch in 1995. Clearly, this will make the 113th Congress the least productive ever.
What Mr. Kane does not realize, or at least does not express, is the kind of superhuman pressure this will put of the 114th Congress. Sure, the Republicans and Democrats in Congress still hate each other—with the mini-nuclear option employed against filibustering some judicial appointments, they hate each other more than ever. And sure, the average mental age of the members is still around two and a half. But can they get it done? Producing fewer than 60 new laws would be an incredible accomplishment for the Congress, if not so much for the nation. But how to do it?
Paul Kane puts his finger on a possible approach when he notes that although Congress is faced with a host of pressing problems to solve between now and the end of the year, not only will they be in session for only two weeks, but also their schedules are arranged so that the House and Senate will be in joint session for only three or four days. And our legislatures are right on top of it. Here, at Stevieslaw, we are happy to report, through our exclusive sources, that a joint blue-ribbon committee will meet before the end of the year to plan a 114th Congress in which the Senate and the House are never simultaneously in session. Breathtaking! Yes! Of course, problems abound—not the least of which the fact that the Democrats and Republicans refuse to communicate through other than trash talk. We have further learned that the two sides have agreed to send messages back and forth using a version of the popular game “telephone.” The phone chain is to be manned by revolving parties of twelve from the local fraternities and sororities, under the influence of free flowing kegs.
Can they get it done? Will the 114th Congress prove to be even more useless than its predecessor? Text “yes” to 800-359-005 if you believe it can happen and “no” to 800-359-006 if you believe it can’t. We hope some fees may apply.

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