Stevieslaw: A Modest Proposal

Remember when your mother would tell you, “You should be ashamed of yourself?” I do and I was. It was the worst feeling.
Unfortunately, it seems like some people did not have functioning moms—or perhaps they have simply forgotten them and what they cautioned against. To overcome this, Smokey Diamond and I would like to modestly propose that we revive public humiliation as a form of penance.
Consider, for example, the folks currently bilking students under the guise of helping them with their student loans (I’m sure you have your own favorite sleazeballs). Instead of locking them away in overcrowded, expensive prisons, we could outfit them with sandwich boards that describe their specific crimes and have them walk about the College campuses around the nation. No need to be cruel about it. We could even pay them minimum wage for their human advertising and have the sentence last no longer than it takes to pay their victims back.
It seems fair.

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