Stevieslaw: Party, Party

According to this morning’s CDT, State College has been named the fourth most exciting place in Pennsylvania behind Pittsburgh, West Chester and Lancaster. The ratings were announced by Devon Buechler, a public relations associate for the real estate firm, Movoto.
Officials at the Mayor’s office were apparently too stunned to comment, while borough council spokesperson, Sloween Stady, responded with a rousing “oh my.”
The borough plans a celebratory party at The Central Parklet, from 5:30 to 7:00 next Wednesday. Highlights will include refreshments—sugar free, gluten free, nut free, raisin cookies, decaffeinated iced-tea and coffee and music by the popular dance band “Eighty is the New Eighty.” “Party Hearty,” badges and very small environmentally friendly balloons will also be distributed.
“Everyone is welcome,” said Stady, “And we will send you home early enough to put the kids to bed and get a fine night’s sleep.”

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