Stevieslaw: The gift that will keep giving

Stevieslaw: The gift that will keep giving.

Marc Levy, writing for the Associated Press, discussed the growing disparity between what wealthy and poor districts spend to educate children in Pennsylvania. He noted that this “funding gap” has more than doubled during Tom Corbett’s four years in office. He writes that, “districts in the top 20 percent of average resident income are budgeted to spend slightly more than $4000 more per student this year than the poorest 20% of districts.” Levy ties this to State funding cuts in education, which have left districts scrambling to make up budget shortfalls by tapping into the local tax-base. This gives wealthier districts a decided advantage.
Smokey Diamond, our intrepid reporter, was able to use the halftime break in the Tinactin-Foot Fungus bowl in Topeka (Go Whales!) to put in a call to Tom Corbett’s Secretary of Education to ask about the report. Spokesperson, Tuan Too, fielded the call.
“Of course we knew that cutting unnecessary educational spending would widen the gap between rich and poor districts,” Too stated. “We needed to move education forward while providing fewer resources and to do so we had to develop a rationale for how money would be allocated.”
“We used a common sense approach,” Tuan continued. “You and I are both aware that poor folk are able to do a lot with a little. It is a life skill they have somehow acquired. Why some of my poorest friends seem to make do with nothing at all. Rich people are not similarly equipped and would not react to shortages nearly as well. With that in mind, it was clear that an across the board spending cut in education, which would provide the poor with the less they need to thrive, was the fairest approach.”
Case closed.
And we are also happy to report that The Topeka Teachers College Whales went on to drown the East Omaha State Flounders, 36-3, in just under four and a half hours of rough and tumble football.

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