Imno S. Citist, spokesperson for Fox News, told Smokey Diamond today that Fox will be adding a weather report starting on the first of the year. Imno said “we will dedicate five minutes from every news hour to the weather, in an effort to balance the reports given by the liberal media.” The public needs to know that the ultra-liberals are basing their reports and forecasts on unproven, pseudo-scientific instruments like thermometers, wind anemometers, and rain gauges.”
“At Fox,” noted Dr. Citist, the reported temperatures will be 10 degrees cooler, the storms will be less frequent and much milder, and those storms will cause no property damage or injury to humans.” “Fair and balanced,” he concluded with a smile.