Stevieslaw: Choice and the Republican Right

Stevieslaw: Choice and the Republican Right
It seems an article of faith among the rich and successful of the Republican Right that they are where they are because of the extensive string of wise choices they have made along the way. Here, at Stevieslaw, we call the ability to know, without fail, the consequence of your choice, “wishfulthinking,” and being liberals to the core would probably use the talent to do no more than pick the winner at the 4th race at Belmont. But it is more serious for serious conservatives. The goddess, Ayn Rand, would tell you if she lived that you have free will—you get to choose those problems you will think about from those you choose to let slide. Clearly, bad choices lead to poverty, lawlessness and acne and must be shunned.
Suitably enlightened, we decided to explore the sad story of bad choice. We sought to trace it to its beginning—to coin a phrase, to “first choice.” To do this, we interviewed ten infants, none over the age to three weeks, to find out why they had chosen to be born into poor and dysfunctional families. Clearly, these were terrible choices and we asked the infants—five boys and five girls, why? We were startled to find that not a single one of these infants could do more than coo or cry in response to our questions—no matter how gently or persistently we asked. Clearly, the compassionate conservatives were right. These infants, who had chosen to be born into families in crisis, were not reasoning at an adult level, acting in fact infantile. In short, since they were not capable of wise choice, they could never be helped. So much for the myth of help through social programs, such as early childhood education.
Good science might demand that we interview infants who choose to be born into privileged families, but of course the answer would be clear. Each of the infants would rationally explain, in perfect English, why he or she had chosen to be born into a family strong enough to feed, clothe and encourage. Many of the 3 week olds would already have a 401 K and extensive holdings in an off-shore account. Need you look farther than the wise choice of birth parents made by Donald Trump?
Are those who choose privilege more likely to succeed? Sure.

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