Stevieslaw: Mississipbits
A spokesperson for Mississippi Governor, Phil Bryant, confirmed in a phone interview with Smokey Diamond—our intrepid reporter, that Mississippi will ban paper currency as a means of exchange by 2020. Porole South said that the move had nothing at all to do with the decision to replace the image of Andrew Jackson with one of Harriet Tubman on the 20 dollar bill by the same date.
South noted that “it’s long been known that paper currency is one of the principle “vectors” that promote the spread of infectious diseases. Mississippi has long been on the forefront of protecting its citizens from contagion of all sorts and this rule will continue that practice.”
Mr. South went on to say that the State is considering something along the lines of “bitcoin,” which they would call Mississipbits but is also open to using “much less infectious confederate coins. Millions and millions in confederate coins are still available in banks around the State and the people of Mississippi are dying to use them.”