Stevieslaw: Headlines you may have missed–Trump Takes Derby

Stevieslaw: Headlines you may have missed–Trump takes Derby
Donald Trump bested twenty horses today to win the 142nd running of the Kentucky Derby. His time of 1 minute, 58.4 seconds for the 1 ¼ mile race was much faster than the previous human record for a mile. Trump, barely winded, said “I ran a good race on a track that was a little sloppy. I could only see Nyquist if I turned completely around and I really didn’t want to do that more than four or five times.
Trump spokesperson, Native Dancer, said that Trump is considering continuing on for the Triple Crown—if his schedule permits.
Of the horses he ran against, Donald would only say, “what a bunch of four-legged losers. There is no way they could ever beat me.”

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