Stevieslaw: Enabling Trump
American journalists of all stripes have been spending the last few days beating themselves up. Journalists have realized that by reporting on Trump exclusively, in all his many manifestations, instead of reporting on anything else on the planet, they’ve enabled his candidacy. Reports of this startling realization were the lead articles in all reputable newspapers and magazines and the lead story on all the network and cable news stations. The New York Times headline screamed “How We Helped Trump,” in a font size previously reserved for the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, while The National Enquirer’s headline had, “We Helped the Trump-Weasel-Win,” with prominent photos of Trump and his immediate family—through 3rd cousins on every page of the newsrag. CNN apologized to the American people for 37 continuous hours while “Trump the presumptive nominee,” rolled across the screen.
Now, we have learned that a special award for Journalistic Excellence has been established to reward any news organization that can construct a complete sentence—whether written or verbal—without using the word Trump in said sentence before the November election.
News agencies are uniformly describing the contest as “too damn Trump.” Fox News spokesperson, Mary Trumpington, said “How the Trump are we to do that?”
Odds at the Trump casino are currently running 173 to 1 that the journalists fail, while Trump himself tweeted—“I could do it, but these snot-nosed weenies haven’t a shot in Trumpdon.”
Look for continuous coverage of the contest on any news venue in Trumpland. “May the Trump be with you.”