Stevieslaw: And now what?

It is becoming increasingly apparent to those with their finger upon the pulse of American life, that the world as we know it will come to a crashing halt on the night of November 8th. On that night Donald will make some semblance of a concession speech and leave to play golf with Putin in the Caucasus Mountains. No, we are not predicting an armed revolt. Trump’s “basket of deplorables” will fade away. Sure, they will maintain the view that the whole world—women, minorities, immigrants, and the media, is against them, but headless and as uninteresting to the general public as they were before the campaign, they will crawl back into the woodwork.

No. We are worried about you.

We are worried that you will be left with nothing to talk about, nothing to read about and nothing to watch on the tube? How will you fill the endless hours you have been spending following the orange monster of Halloween, 2016?

The media is in a panic—boardrooms are packed with anxious pundits. Jeff Zucker told Smokey Diamond last week, “I believe that the only thing that can save CNN is a long and nasty war.” Mark Zuckerberg predicted in a recent phone interview that, “facebook posts will drop by at least 95%. Most of our remaining posts will consist of people congratulating each other on another birthday.”

The American Psychological Association is cautioning that, “Americans in record numbers will be adrift. Lacking even the basic skills to converse about anything other than Trump’s latest folly, many will lose substantial touch with reality.” Pharmaceutical companies and emergency medical providers are gearing up for what is being termed, “the new depression.” A spokesperson for Eli Lilly said, “There is no way we can produce enough anti-depressant in time. Hopeless, sad-eyed causalties of the endless campaign will be roaming the streets of our cities and crying into their designer beers—unable to give voice to their emptiness.”

Snap out of it, people! Now is the time to find something else to talk about. Start, if you must, with the weather. Shut off your TV’s. Join groups. Interact. Play words with friends with strangers. Go bowling.

We, at Stevieslaw, are quite concerned. Write us and let us know how you are handling the awful emptiness, which is sure to follow our last raucous laugh at the departing back of a defeated Donald Trump, as he leaves the world’s stage forever.