Stevieslaw: Our debate takeaway

After breakfasting on smoked mackerel, our fearless reporter, Smokey Diamond explained the debate in the following way:

Hillary Clinton, the nominee of the Democratic Party, promised that she would bring all the nations and groups with a stake in Syria to the negotiating table. “We will find a solution for this terrible tragedy,” vowed Clinton. The former Secretary of State went on to name all of the participants, who they will represent, their birthdays, the names of their immediate family members and their pets, their facial characteristics, and their favorite books. She closed with the location of the conference, its time and date, the size and shape of the table, the seating chart, and the menu for the first week.

Donald Trump, the nominee of the Republican Party, promised American women that he would limit his sexual assaults upon them to obscene phone calls. “This is huge,” he trumpeted.

I think Smokey captured the essence of the debate perfectly.