Stevieslaw: Smog Gap Threatens America’s Standing in the World

Stevieslaw: Smog Gap Threatens America’s Standing in the World

Children of the 1950’s are sure to remember The New York Yankees, The Boston Celtics and the missile gap. It was widely believed that the Russians had more and more powerful missiles and that if the “missile gap,” were not closed—and damned fast, Americans would wake one morning to find Soviet missiles raining down on their cities. But more than the fear of losing a nuclear exchange (perhaps with the understanding that the winner would have little cause for celebration), Americans felt a very tangible loss of prestige. It is well documented that before the missile gap, Americans walked with their shoulders back and their heads held high. In the 50’s, we slumped, refused to smile, and began to take Valium.

And now, Republicans—at the local, state and federal level, are at least as concerned about the growing Smog Gap as we were about the missile gap. Said Republican spokesperson, Bron Citis, “we are simply not holding our own against China and the emerging smog powerhouses of India and Pakistan. We are even falling behind our Latin American neighbors—Chile is one example.”

Myron Ebell, Trump’s pick to head The Environment Protection Agency, weighed in as well. “The smog gap is probably a larger concern than the Global Warming farce, although the two are certainly related.” “Rolling back mileage requirements on automobiles and trucks will certainly help,” he said, but if you want reliable air-pollution and smog—comparable to what the powerhouse nations routinely produce, you must bring back coal. President-elect Trump is wise to demand a return to coal.”

Steve Bannon, chief advisor to President Elect Trump, was clear in assigning blame. “The whole Frankenstein monster of insufficient smog and air-pollution may be laid at the feet of the liberal conspiracy. It can easily be traced back to the “Clean Air Act,” which was signed into law by the well-known socialist, President Lyndon Johnson, in 1963. We should have no problem in rolling it and its numerous amendments back.”

Bannon acknowledged that some people might be adversely affected by smog and air-pollution, but noted that, “a society does not become strong and great by worrying about its sensitive types.”

Advertisements
This entry was posted in gang gang dance, Humor, parody, sleepless in state college and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Stevieslaw: Smog Gap Threatens America’s Standing in the World

  1. Having read this I believed it was rather enlightening.
    I appreciate you spending some time and effort to put this
    article together. I once again find myself spending way too much time both reading
    and posting comments. But so what, it was still worth it!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s