Stevieslaw: House Republicans to privatize breathing

Stevieslaw: House Republicans to privatize breathing

House Republicans introduced legislation today that would permit multinational corporations to buy “breathing zones,” in the United States. The cost of each zone would be tied to the resident population. Americans would be charged for breathing on the basis of a measured respiration rate.

Said spokesperson, Igot Mine, “The average American consumes about 550 liters of oxygen everyday and it is incomprehensible that no one is making money from this bodily function. Corporations are currently making money for all sorts of human misery and need—think of private prisons, healthcare, and student loans, for example, why not for air?

“I might have missed it, but when was breathing declared a right?” he continued.

Mr. Mine went on to say that the new “breathing industries” would provide a huge stimulus to the economy with tens of thousands of trickle down jobs. Moreover, the poor would be heavily subsidized in the compassionate Republican plan by being taught how to hold their breath.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in gang gang dance, Humor, parody, sleepless in state college and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Stevieslaw: House Republicans to privatize breathing

  1. Mary Shay McGuire says:

    breathing allowed only when wearing a bathrobe

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s