Stevieslaw: The Republicans full court press on America’s health

Tom Price, Secretary of Health and Human Services, said today that the new health care plan was just the tip of the iceberg in the Republican plan to make Americans healthier. Said Mr. Price, “I find that people often don’t understand the underlying reasons behind seemingly disparate policy decisions and reach rather narrow, ungenerous conclusions.” “ For example,” he continued, “we have people railing against our plan to end Federal funding for mass transit—a huge cost-saving measure, without ever realizing that it is a multipurpose plan. We all know that walking is a best exercise and yet we fail to make the connection between the end of mass transit and the increase in walking that will be one of its results—live in one of New York’s boroughs and work in Manhattan?—you will soon be as healthy as a horse.”

Price also noted that the projected increase in average emergency room waiting times, from two hours to two weeks, as a consequence of the new health care law should not be taken in isolation. “Many Americans simply do not have the time to practice ‘mindfulness’—an Eastern practice that is wonderful for your well-being, what with job and family responsibilities. A visit to the ER could provide the time you need to learn to live in the moment, as you are forced to concentrate on easing your pain.”

“Republicans are all about opportunity,” concluded Price.