Stevieslaw: Steve “Wormtongue” Bannon goes home.
In a brief ceremony on the White House lawn today, Chief Advisor Wormtongue Bannon went to his final rest. Bannon slithered under a large rock, as a high school band played an up-tempo version of Totentanz (Dance of Death). The kazoo solo was memorable. Said White House spokesperson, Satin Faustus, “It’s a fairy tale ending for Steve.”
Groundskeepers reported that the trail of slime left by the slithering Bannon killed all the vegetation within 15 feet of his trail. Said the head-groundskeeper, “I’ve never seen grass and plants wither that quickly.”
An earlier story, circulated by the right wing media, had that Bannon was assassinated by a young girl from Kansas, accompanied by a tin man, a scarecrow and a cowardly lion. The assassination was purportedly accomplished by splashing Bannon with a glass of water. Tap water in the D.C. Area is known to be very, very toxic. That story was taken down after the slithering ceremony.