Stevieslaw: Seismic activity rocks Quincy, Massachusetts

Stevieslaw: Seismic activity rocks Quincy Massachusetts
Residents of Quincy were awakened last night by an earthquake that measured nearly 5.5 on the Richter Scale. The earthquake continues and is accompanied by a sound of muffled moaning.
MIT scientists we’re initially baffled by the seismic signal as it seemed oddly periodic. Dr. Abe D. Hope said, “We have tracked the origin of the quake to the gravesite of John Adams. Clearly, President Adams is rolling over and over in his grave while screaming “no, no—who put an orange headed monster in my house.”
We were reminded today by Writer’s Almanac that John Adams, the first resident of the White House, wrote to his wife Abigail after his first night there:
I pray heaven to bestow the best of blessings on this house and on all that shall hereafter inhabit it. May none but honest and wise men ever rule under this roof.”
Reports of quakes near other Presidential burial sites have been drifting in all night.
A good night’s sleep seems unlikely for much of the nation.

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