Stevieslaw: The Birth of Whateverism
Now that organized religion is making a comeback under the Trump Administration, we at Stevieslaw think it’s high time we got in on the action. It’s hard to argue that picking up the check is against your religious beliefs when the people you are trying to stiff know fully well that you haven’t any and that you agree with the vast majority of Americans who believe god left with the good silver after emptying the bank accounts. I believe he just checked in at the local Marriott on a planet that still has a chance.
So, in honor of my mother, who when faced with people painted pink and parading as penguins on the local beach as the lead story on the 6:30 news, would simply say “whatever” and proceed to the kitchen to make more coffee, we give you “Whateverism.” Whateverites, when faced with something that makes their noses itch or that makes them vaguely uncomfortable can soothe their collective religious consciousnesses—can assure their non-complicity in the horribleness before them, by saying “whatever” and moving on.
So the next time your self-righteousness kicks in and you are planning on speaking for god—now doing the back stroke in the Marriott’s sumptuous swimming pool, just say “whatever” and you are off the hook.
Donations to the High Church of Whatever will be tax deductible sooner or later. Any money over and above that needed to support our soon to be lavish life style will be used to stimulate the local economy—through losses at casinos, race tracks and with our local bookie, Benny. Give whatever.