Stevieslaw: Pruitt to rule EPA by the Book.

I.C. Light, spokesperson for EPA Chief Scott Pruitt, told our own Smokey Diamond this morning that Mr. Pruitt will use the New Testament and the New Testament alone to guide the actions of the EPA.

“What is your so-called science worth?,” he asked. “When up against the beautiful simplicity of ‘What would Jesus say?’”

“For example,” continued Dr. Light, “Mr. Pruitt takes a biblical approach to the burning of fossil fuels.” “He is convinced, and all right-thinking people would certainly agree, that God would not have put coal, gas and oil into the ground, if he did not want us to harvest it and use it.”

“So, Mr. Pruitt, is replacing those people on the review board who can’t ascribe to that simple, god-given principle, with those who can,” said Light. “You may call it a purge of science and scientists, but we look at it as expunging the heretics.”

“Some of us, who advise Mr. Pruitt, believe that the scientists being removed are fortunate that they are not being burned at the stake,” he said with a winning smile.

“But aren’t you replacing the scientists with members of an industry that has a vested interest in burning fossil fuels?” asked Smokey. “They stand to make tons of money.”

“Earning your daily bread by doing the lord’s work is not a sin,” he concluded, “It’s a great blessing.”