Michelle Obama practices Chavezism
Our intrepid Smokey Diamond reports that Fox News will air an exclusive today that strongly links Michelle Obama to the Venezuelan Socialist Dictator Hugo Chavez. “I felt there was an inordinate amount of travel to Caracas by Fox News reporters,” purred Smokey, “so I followed them to find out what they were up to.” “The reporters were attending all of Hugo Chavez’s news conferences and were tracking his every word on Venezuelan television.” “At first they seemed confused, but that improved when they hired a translator.” “And last night, after his televised speech, they packed up and left in a hurry.”
Smokey was able to catch Ronald Sauron, the mouth of Fox News, on the tarmac at what Ron still calls Idylwild Airport. Sauron confirmed that they were watching Chavez closely and had months ago discovered the connection between him and first lady, Michelle Obama. “Chavez has been dropping loaded words now for months, railing about things like TV and school violence and alcoholism,” he confided. “It’s just the sort of thing we would expect to hear from Ms. Obama and we suspected it was much much more than coincidence.” “Yesterday, when he went on and on about the dangers of obesity,” he continued, “we knew we had her.” “Michelle Obama has long been in favor of government control of what we can eat,” he said.
“Like all our exclusives,” Sauron said, “Fox News will not actually accuse Ms. Obama of being a socialist follower of Chavez and a closet Hispanic, but will simply present the compelling factual evidence that she is.” “We at Fox wonder just how closely Ms. Obama’s birth certificate has been studied, for example” he said. “We also wonder why she is ashamed of admitting to her Hispanic background and how that will play out with our Hispanic voters.”
In other Fox News, Sauron was able to confirm that Fox’s scientific experts were willing to concede that the earth was probably “not flat,” if their colleagues on the left would stop promoting “all that dribble” about global warming.