StevieslawMarketplace: “I am not a threat” Tees Available after Background Check.
Karl Andren of the Harrisburg Patriot-News reports in the Centre Daily Times today that the so called “castle-doctrine”, the right to use deadly force if you feel your life is threatened in your home, will be expanded to include any public place. To loosely paraphrase Rep. Scott Perry (R-York), a sponsor of the bill, “Right now, citizens have to spend precious seconds determining if there is time to run away…” “That is not something we want our citizens to have to think about.” Scott might well have continued, “With our new law, our citizens know they can just shoot first and think later, as we’ve got their backs.” Robert Golck, spokesman for the NRA agrees. “Many studies have shown that thinking before shooting is not an efficient crime prevention technique.” “Moreover,” he continued, “At the NRA, we have always argued that the use of the word think in the same sentence as the word gun is a direct assault on the Second Amendment.”
We at Stevieslaw, however, believe this misguided law is bad for Pennsylvania business. As my cousin Marvin says, “If every time I go to the Mall I’ve got to worry that some crazy—who feels everyone in the world is threatening and who is armed with a semi-automatic weapon—is going to shoot me if I reach for a tissue in my pocket, I will shop on line. In response to this, Stevieslaw is proud to announce a line of t-shirts, hats and jackets boldly emblazoned with the logo—“I Am Not a Threat.” The clothing will be available, in a full line of sizes and colors, to people who pass the sort of stringent background check now required to buy weapons. Smokey Diamond, our intrepid reporter, still reeling from a newspicture of cat with an arrow in its head says, “Don’t leave home without a logo.”
In its continuing and largely successful effort to present the world as an insane, uncaring place, The CDT also reported in the same issue on the anniversary of the shootings at Virginia Tech and on the shooting death of 12 children in a public school in Rio.
Is it too early for a drink?