Stevieslaw: Inhale, Exhale

Smokey Diamond, our intrepid reporter, had an asthma attack this morning while reading the local newspaper, the CDT. To tell the truth, Smokey and I hadn’t thought much about Marcellus Shale lately, what with the Sandusky thing and the Republican debates squeezing out any possibility of rational thought. The article reported that the Environmental Protection Agency had criticized the PA Dept. of Environmental Protection for not following federal guidelines for pollution from the Marcellus Shale gas wells. The PADEP was quick to respond. Pat Leon, a DEP spokesperson and President of GasRUs, a Marcellus Shale drilling company, said simply, “This another case in which the EPA is way out of line.” “We are talking about Pennsylvania air—why is this being handled on a National level?” “It’s no wonder that many of the Republican candidates for president want to rid the nation of this rogue agency.”
Marcellus Shale spokesperson, Sylvia Beach, was more candid. “Listen, she said, “The EPA over the course of its existence, has given the American people the false impression that breathing, to obtain oxygen, was some sort of right.” “Where in the constitution is that spelled out?” she asked. “With that assumption, we are ignoring the possibility of a huge, job producing industry made possible by the privatization of breathing.” “Think of the need for personal oxygen tanks and the subsidiary industries that will as a result of them.” “Think for a moment about fashionable oxygen tanks, for example.” she said with a wink. “The Marcellus Shale group represents gas companies,” she said, “And the last time I checked oxygen was a gas.”
And our future might just be, as Tom Lehrer wrote:
Just go out for a breath of air,
And you’ll be ready for medicare.
The city streets are really quite a thrill.
If the hoods don’t get you, the monoxide will.

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11 Responses to Stevieslaw: Inhale, Exhale

  1. gulrotkake i langpanne Hrm, Not the best post unfortunately. Sorry to be so blunt! You should try some Norwegian carrot cake ( gulrotkake i langpanne ) to cheer you up instead.

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  2. Thanks for the writeup. I definitely agree with what you are saying. I have been talking about this subject a lot lately with my father so hopefully this will get him to see my point of view. Fingers crossed!

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