Smokey Diamond, our intrepid reporter, has always been exceptionally good at “cat and mouse” games, so she seems a natural for the CIA. I fear, however, that this time she may have gone too far. She put an ad in our local newspaper that read:

Taliban Control. More than 15 years of successful control in Central Pennsylvania. Seeking to branch out—perhaps to Maui. Cash joyfully accepted. All currencies. Take advantage of our large mail slot for anonymous payments! Discretion guaranteed.

Smokey knows full well that the CIA is prohibited from operating in the United States— while delivering cash in brown paper bags to offices in Kabul is apparently perfectly legal. But you can’t kill hope. You can find her mostly days curled up in the sunlight beside our mail-slotted front door, lapping up milk and honey and flipping through the pages of Hawaii Life.