Stevieslaw: Privatizing Privatization

Smokey Diamond, our intrepid reporter, has had her nose to the grindstone in sniffing out not only today’s news, but tomorrow’s. She reports that the thought keeping the two major Republican think tanks awake at night is the slow pace of privatization. Both the ultra-conservative IGM group and the ultra, way past-conservative WGOs group had thought that most government services would have withered away by now, leaving the only government functions the fighting of wars in nations whose names we cannot spell and the occasional photo shoot of an uncomfortable looking John Boehner and a satanic looking Eric Cantor cutting the funds for some program or other that the young or sick depend on. Not so.
The reason says Republican strategist, Yua Domed, is that “we depend upon government to cut government.” “What we need on the Local, State and Federal level is a private company; say a bank or financial institution, to take over the process of privatizing government functions. Just think how much easier it would have been to privatize Social Security, just before the stock market crash, had some commercial entity that stood to make oodles of money on the change managed it.”
“Look for the Republicans to press this issue, as the 2014 elections approach,” voiced Smokey. “Some Republican strategists as well as most corporate leaders believe that there is some money the middle class is still hanging on to, which— by the nature of it being money— cannot belong to them.” “Based on the Republicans past achievements,” she said “They will use that same middle class, through creative voting procedures, to help them funnel that money to the rich.”

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