Stevieslaw: Pinpoint Accuracy
The announcement by Deputy Secretary of State Tony Blinken that American led airstrikes against ISIS has killed more than 10,000 fighters in 9 months is alarming. In spite of losing about a third of their crazies, ISIS has been able to easily expand its position in both Syria and Iraq. In fact, the Pentagon now estimates that ISIS can conquer most of the Middle East with fourteen men and a pick-up truck. That and the estimated “Collateral Damage” ratio of 150 to 1—while the best since Vietnam, makes it unlikely that we will win the hearts and minds of the populace.
Fortunately, the brain trust at the Pentagon is hard at work. They are making the connections that will enable us to win this war. In May of this year, a clever employee realized that they had inadvertently sent live anthrax spores in liquid form to 48 labs in the U.S. and 3 abroad. Although not one person has been sickened, the entire population of Illinois is now taking the antibiotic, Cipro, as a preventive measure. The error was eventually traced to a Pentagon computer that had decided to send Anthrax to everyone on its Christmas card list.
After a solid week of frowning at one another, the Pentagon brain trust realized that this was the absolutely wrong list. We have learned that the Pentagon will begin sending small bottles of Anthrax spores to ISIS leaders. The bottles will be festively packaged and labeled, “drink me.” With forethought, the label captions will be in Arabic.
Another problem solved.