Stevieslaw: New Shows to Thrill You
Although insensitive remarks by Ben Carson and Jeb Bush may end up dooming their presidential aspirations, the networks have been listening. Smokey Diamond, our intrepid reporter, has just learned that CBS will have Dr. Carson star in a brand new take on the Superman series. Ben as you may recall remarked that he would not just stand there and let a heavily armed person shoot him. In the show, Ben uses his superpowers to save America from various nefarious liberal plots. In the pilot, B.C. uses his super hearing to sniff out a shooting at a nursery school in Topeka. He flies to save them from a mentally ill man who has happened upon 9 automatic weapons and 1000 rounds of ammunition on a park bench and decided on the spur of the moment to kill everyone. Ben saves the students, lectures the cowering teachers on the necessity of arming themselves, and decides to treat the mentally ill man himself.
NBC is planning a hilarious new comedy, based on the characters in Dumb and Dumber, in which Jeb and George Bush travel around the world in a VW bus telling foreign leaders that there is no need to react to any horrific situation beyond simply shrugging and saying,” stuff happens.” A spokesperson for NBC said that the pilot will have Jeb and George both addressing the U.N., during a serious humanitarian crisis, entirely in pantomime. “Sidesplittingly funny,” crows the network release.
Watch for them next year!