Stevieslaw: Cruz Campaign warns of the curse of Egypt
Moses Rebern, chief liaison officer between the Cruz campaign and the Evangelicals and one of his more centrist advisors, warned today that failure to anoint Ted Cruz president of the United States would bring the plagues of Egypt down on the heads of all Americans. Rebern told Smokey Diamond that he had heard directly from God on a hilltop just outside Waco, Texas. “God,” said Moses, “was wearing a very fine ten gallon hat, cowboy boots and had a Colt revolver in a quick draw holster strapped to his leg.”
Rebern told Smokey that the Zika virus was the one and only warning that the people of America would get.
Sadly, Smokey has begun to drink heavily again.