Stevieslaw: One a Day
Trump Industries has begun marketing a “Make America Great Again,” pill under the brand name, “Believe Me.” “Believe Me,” will be sold through the mail and on street corners and will be heavily advertised.”
“Ads for Believe Me will completely replace traditional campaign ads,” said Trump spokesperson, Adam Smith. “Campaign ads are for losers,” continued Adam.
The pills, which must be taken once a day from now until Election Day, work on an amazing “event release” mechanism (patent pending) discovered by Trump in his penthouse laboratory. Because of event release, “Believe Me” will have no noticeable effect until Donald Trump is elected President of the United States.
“As soon as that happens,” said Mr. Smith, “the pills will activate and everything you hate will disappear and be replaced by everything you love. There is nothing to know or to do. Very, very quickly the liberal Supreme Court Justices will resign, ISIS will disappear and your mother, dead for nearly twenty years, will reanimate to make you a batch of those blueberry pancakes you have been missing.”
“The pills are a real bargain at $1.99 each,” said Smith. “We are able to keep the price down by making them in China.” “Make sure to order yours today.”
Smith was careful to note that the pills were not recommended for children under three years old, who already believe wishful thinking is the way the world works.