Stevieslaw: Clinton’s Ravishing Disease
Alldatrut, a Brooklyn based blog that Smokey and I follow religiously (we love to say “what the…”), has just published a definitive analysis of Hillary Clinton’s health problems. Mrs. Clinton is not suffering from a common form of pneumonia, but has acquired the hugely contagious and deadly strain brought on by the bug—pneumoniococcuspharoahextremis. The blog says, authoritatively, that Ms. Clinton acquired the disease when she and her husband, Bill, using the Clinton Foundation as a front, despoiled the tomb of Pharaoh, No-name-on-the-door-Re, and made off with the gold.
There is no cure for the ailment, which is known to be responsible for many of mankind’s worst calamities. Among the host of historic events laid at its door are the black plague, the sinking of the Titanic, global warming, the death of Bambi’s mother, the sinking of Atlantis, and the rise of Ted Cruz. Be careful! This disease can be acquired just by watching Hillary speak on TV.
Dr. Los M.Y. Licens, a consultant with Fox News, confirmed that Hillary is a breeding ground for the deadly bug. “Symptoms vary,” said Licens, “as the disease causes the patient to take on the symptoms of every disease mentioned, by anyone, anywhere, and anytime. Someone just murmuring “Parkinson’s Disease,” at a garden party would cause Ms. Clinton to shake and stumble. It is my experience, continued Dr. Licens, that only strong leaders—like Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin, whose systems fight off disease like Superman fights off bullets, are immune.”
Dr. Licens went on to note that, if elected, Clinton would not only be our first female President, but would also be our first President to spend her entire term in quarantine. “There is no doubt, he concluded with a winning Fox News smile, “Mrs. President will live and work is the White House bubble.”