Stevieslaw: Trump to adopt N. Korean model in Secretary of State Choice

Stevieslaw: Trump to adopt N. Korean model in Secretary of State choice.

Edgar Maddison, the 28 year old from North Carolina who opened fire in a DC restaurant that was the subject of a fake news story, has “moved to the top of the list of potential Secretary of State nominees,” said transition team spokesperson, Nowair T. Hide. The news story claimed that the Clinton campaign was running a child sex ring from the restaurant and Mr. Maddison wanted to find out for himself. American Nazi groups (formerly known as alt-right groups) have called Maddison a hero—a 21st Century Don Quixote, and a fine example of the American educational system at its best.

Steve Bannon, soon to be Trump’s Chief of Staff, said the choice of Maddison would send a strong message to our adversaries around the globe. Bannon noted that, “aside from the bankers and wall street financiers, the Trump picks have all fallen under the umbrella of inexperience and unpredictability. His chosen people are not likely to act rationally. Can you imagine how effective this guy would be in a meeting with the Chinese, he continued? “How can you ever get a read on a guy that would not only believe a story like that but would believe it to such a degree that he would also act on it? Inscrutable—hah.”

“Mr. Maddison also carries with him a hair-trigger potential for violence,” said Trump transition spokesperson, Mr. Hide. “Irrationality, the threat of violence, and access to nuclear weapons is quite a combination to have when dealing with friends and foes around the world” “It is essentially the N. Korean model on steroids,” he said with a winning smile, “and just look how well the N. Koreans are doing.”

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