Stevieslaw: Rudy We Hardly Knew Ye.

Rudy Giuliani, the former mayor of NYC, is no longer being considered as a candidate for Secretary of State. According to an anonymous source in the Trump transition team, Mr. Giuliani has tested positive for rabies and will be put down. “Fortunately, only a few people were bitten or scratched,” said our source.

Trump reportedly knew of these medical results for more than a week, but was weighing the advantage of having a rabid “dog” on staff against the injuries and deaths it might lead to.

A glance at Wikipedia confirms that there has never been a rabid cabinet member, but such a dangerous lunatic might not have stood out against Trump’s other choices.

Mr. Giuliani will reside in a cage until after the inauguration and will be euthanized as President Trump’s first official act.